Dear Miller Lite,

We all have expectations. When those expectations are not met we are disappointed. Disappointment leads to anger and anger leads to hate. Therefore, expectations are a root of hate. Stated simply it seems to make sense, but explore deeper and you uncover a truth that many have forgotten or in some cases never had the chance to learn.
We expect things from people all around us. We expect people to be courteous in public. We expect our friends to remember our birthdays. We expect family to love us unconditionally. We expect the world to accept us for who we are. But rarely do those expectations come to fruition. Disappointment is inevitable. Whether it be childish selfishness or lack of memory, family and friends will disappoint us. Even strangers will disappoint us if given the chance. It is all about how we deal with that disappointment that determines who we are and how we live our lives. But what if there is something we can do about disappointment before we are disappointed?
A priest was giving a sermon about happiness and he said that one step towards living a happier lifestyle is to lower our expectations. Many people find this hard to do because of the negative connotation the word lower has in our minds. To lower our expectations sounds like we have to lower ourselves and our beliefs. This makes many people feel as though they are going against what they live for, what they stand for. Instead of using the word “lower” let’s try using the word “lessen.” Let’s lessen our expectations. We don’t have to lower the content of our expectations and go against what we believe in but let’s try lessening the impact of our expectations. For example, we all expect our friends and family to remember and celebrate our birthdays. No matter what someone might say, we all expect it in some way. Birthdays are important and we shouldn’t have to lower them in anyway. But if we lessen the impact of that expectation in our lives, it makes it a lot easier to swallow if a birthday is forgotten one year. We are not going to die because someone forgot our birthday. So how do we go about lessening the impact of our expectations?
We have no control over anyone else. It is not possible to control another human being. At some point in life, we will all realize that regardless of what someone else says or does, it will ultimately come down to our individual decisions. We can’t force anyone to do anything. Ultimately, the individual has a choice to not do what we are trying to force them to do and accept whatever fate comes with that decision. And the opposite is also true. We can choose to not do anything regardless of how much someone might try to convince us otherwise. It all comes down to individual choice. And herein lies the truth that we many times neglect and forget. We are so busy blaming others for our disappointments that we don’t stop to think why we are truly disappointed in the first place.
We hate the world, “rage against the machine”, and “stick it to the man,” but the world is not obligated to do anything for us. The world does not owe us anything. It is not that the world did not meet our expectations, our expectations did not meet the reality of this world. We cannot be disappointed that things didn’t turn out the way we wanted, we should be disappointed that we failed to accomplish what we wanted. We like to sit back and think that we are victims because we have suffered disappointment but the only victim is the change that was envisioned but never accomplished. The world does not revolve around us. We live and revolve around this world. It is up to us to do everything we individually can to obtain what we want, what we expect. The world is not going to give us anything. We have to take it upon ourselves to actively participate in the change that we expect. And it begins with change from within. We have to be willing to change ourselves before we can expect anyone or anything around us to change.
A pre-emptive strike against disappointment is to always look within and ask ourselves, if we expect something or someone to change, are we willing to change ourselves to make that happen? More than likely, the answer is yes, but it will be much easier said than done. We shouldn’t stop there though. Then we should ask ourselves, what changes do we need to make of and for ourselves to accomplish what we want to happen? The answer to that question will help lessen the impact of our expectations. It will allow us to walk in other people’s shoes and realize the potential setbacks that we might encounter. With that in mind, we still expect change, but can be more sympathetic and understanding thus lessening the overall impact our expectations have on our individual lives. Finally, take a step back and look at the bigger picture. The world itself is an ever-changing entity but don’t expect it to change towards your liking unless you are willing to put in the elbow grease to make it happen.
It starts from within.
@millerlite #itsmillertime